It is OK to tell your friends and family that you have a birthday. You are human after all. I believe that your people want to celebrate you. It could be said, that people feel slighted if you have a birthday, and they do not have the choice to say, “Happy Birthday!”. Social media has a way of alerting the world when it is your birthday. What would happen if you personally invited a few people to celebrate with you in person and not just online?
Protocol would be to give two weeks’ notice prior to the celebration. Challenge yourself this year to call your people and invite them, instead of a text or E invitation.
Step one: pick a day that works for you and one of your favorite people (spouse, partner, best friend, etc).
Step Two: Pick a place. You can gather at a local Resturant, or coffee house, I am trying to entertain in my home again. As the “last generation of department store brides” (thank you for that description Big Boo Podcast) I have a lot of nice entertaining items, and I intend to use them.
Step Three: Pick a two hour time block. Set a start and finish time, people like to know the end time. You can always stay later, or you can call the party over.
Step Four: Invite your people. Inform them of Steps 1-3 Try a phone call first, then you can send a text if you do not hear back. Do not get discouraged if people are busy. If it is you and your favorite person, that is plenty to celebrate!
Step Five: Do not cancel. Stay the course, keep it easy.
This might all seem a little far fetched. I understand your position. I tend to resist the idea of asking my family to celebrate me. Above water, below radar would be my mode of operation in most situations. I behave as though people should magically know what I like and how I would like to celebrate my birthday. After a quick chat with my 15 year old…I can tell you I was wrong. My child vaguely knows my birthday is near Christmas and that I “like things that I like”. When I asked what that meant, she let me know that she really does not know what I like. More importantly, she was surprised that I cared. Upon reflection, that was the message I had sent all these years.
I have a friend who is one of the most kind and loving people I know on this planet. And she has taught her family how she wants to be treated for her birthday. She has the ability to inform her family with directness but also in a tone of voice they listen to her. In the end, she receives the birthday she would like, and her family feels like they did a good job celebrating with her.
This has brought me to the realization that my birthday makes me feel vulnerable. If I tell the people who care about me what I like, I could possibly have to deal with disappointment when (not if, because well, life) they do not follow my request as I made it. I am not big on disappointment. My action is always to move forward in a positive mode. “All Good Things”, is my moto to most of what life has thrown my way. But was it ever really OK? Is OK a celebration?
I am not sure what this year’s birthday will bring. I do know that if I start to think about it now, anything is possible. What sounds fun to me would be to have my house full of my most cherished friends again this year on my birthday, and to maybe sneak off to Italy with three of my closest people to celebrate our major milestones together. I will let you know how it all unfolds.
Thank you for taking a few moments to read this page. I hope to say “Hi” when we see each other. Please send me ideas for future articles or questions to discuss via Thehopefulhostess.com.
Sincerely yours,
The Hopeful Hostess,
Mona
The Hopeful Hostess 
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