I thought it might be interesting to look at the Gentleman’s wardrobe and a few details for the modern interpretation. By modern I mean how to adapt the finest points of Gentleman’s attire into a reality of 2023. These are my thoughts, and as I have written in other articles, there are wonderful fashion authorities and experts on tailoring that can offer advice. I will add a few resources I consult when I have a deeply pressing question such as, “Does the boutonniere go in the button hole of the lapel?”.
Emily Post (Etiquette 1922, 1955 & 2011) as well as Amy Vanderbilt (Complete Book of Etiquette, 1995) both write that a dark navy-blue suit is an excellent first investment. In the modern interpretation a simple reason for this would be that the pieces of the suit can be worn separately for more casual situations, and then as a full suit when more formal attire is appropriate. A few key points:
- Use a store with an in-house tailor if possible.
- The Men’s Wearhouse
- Nordstom
https://www.nordstrom.com/browse/services/alterations
- JoS.A.Bank
- Take a trusted person with you when shopping for a suit or jacket.
- This will be a major purchase, and truth, if you are over the age of 18, your mother might not be the best person to help you pick out what is in style.
- A person that you respect and dresses in a manner you admire is a perfect resource to ask where they shop. Not your direct manager, more of a peer or a professional friend.
- If you do not like the salesperson’s style or if you are not feeling comfortable with their recommendations, leave the store. You can come back later or try another store, but do not suffer if through a painful shopping experience. A proper salesperson should have knowledge of the current trends while respecting your personal ideas for fashion.
- Look at social media for inspiration or even magazines. This is also where bringing a friend can be helpful. They can be the person to pull out their phone and show the salesperson the “look” you are aiming for. Buy this friend a nice meal and a beverage for keeping you on track!
- Go to at least three stores before you purchase anything. Look around, do not be the guy who walked in and just bought the first suit they tried on because they wanted to get it over with. A fantastic suit helps you feel strong and confident. Invest the time in the process. Again, bring a buddy, and have fun. Start earlier in the day and take a lunch break.
The budget. There is no hard and fast rule on how much to spend. There are fantastic sales to be found. I often recommend Macy’s (https://www.macys.com/shop/mens-clothing/mens-suits?id=17788&trackingid=422×3053492&m_sc=sem&m_sb=Google&m_tp=Trademark&m_ac=Google_Apparel_Trademark&m_ag=GGL_TM_General_Suits_General_Exact&m_cn=GGL_TM_General_Suits_Exact&m_pi=go_cmp-12865755536_adg-122421061875_ad-605549461435_kwd-431477095_dev-c_ext-_prd-&gad=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwl8anBhCFARIsAKbbpySvnVEbl1rNapkeDAGRg_K_PMupObhwvcqzVZvhYyDg4DBkgMJIjlkaAtnSEALw_wcB) for my students at this time of year. In the fall, you can often find an incredible sale. And if you are a parent of a growing young man, a sale can be a beautiful thing!
If you are the person making the purchase. And if you have hit a point in your life where you are at a steady height and weight, consider this an investment and spend at the price you feel appropriate. It is often a bit more than what you thought you would spend when starting this process. Emily post wrote extensively in the 1920s that one of the least elegant things one could do, is to dress in a manner beyond their means. A basic piece from anywhere can be fitted to your shape and bring your appearance to a higher level. Find a good tailor, they are golden!
Tiny details: Gentleman if you are reading this, please hear me… snip the small threads that hold your pleats together on the back and sides of the sport coat/jacket. (These are versions of a suit style coat; I might have to write another piece on which is which in the world of men’s coats). Please remove the small piece of fabric on your sleeve that is the “label” of the maker of the garment. Please verify the buttons all are present at the wrist and in front of the coat.
The buttons of the coat: A gentleman buttons the top button of a two or three button jacket only when standing. If it is a three-button jacket, you can consider the second button as well. The Third button is not to be buttoned. If it is a double-breasted situation, then all buttons are buttoned. Double breasted and three-button suit coats go in and out of fashion, but there is always at least one button present. If there is not, you, my friend, are wearing a cardigan not a coat.
The button of a gentleman’s jacket is unbuttoned when they are seated. You then re-button them when you rise from your chair. This is not a hurried move, take your time. Practice when you are purchasing the jacket to be sure you can smoothly perform this maneuver.
The fit of a suit coat or sport coat is best reviewed with a tailor and your mirror. You will develop your preferences, but in general,
- Only a small portion of the cuff of your shirt should be visible (your wrist).
- If you have French-cuffs (need cuff-links) then the cuff-link is often slightly visible.
- The seam of the shoulder should be at the edge of your shoulder.
- The body of the garment should not pull or be restrictive when buttoned. You should also not look like you are wearing the jacket of an elderly, large family member. It needs to fit and lie smoothly against the frame of your body.
If there is one message I can leave you with, please be sure all of your clothing is clean and pressed. The difference between a crumpled, frumpled, wrinkly appearance verses well fitted, smooth attire is profound.
I look forward to your questions and follow up discussions on the nature of “The Clothes of a Gentleman”, (Etiquette, 1922). To answer the question of a flower in the button-hole of the lapel of a jacket, consider the following…., “if you are choosing a pocket square, the a flower should not be worn. Only a single small flower should be placed in the button-hole.” (Etiquette, Emily Post) A full boutonniere is not placed in the button-hole. It secured with floral pins to the lapel of the jacket. The flower that was placed in the button-hole was often handed to a young lady the gentleman was courting as a bit of a flirtatious gesture. It sounds like a sweet, simple tradition to me!
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. Please like and share with your friends! You can subscribe to The Hopeful Hostess at https://thehopefulhostess.com/blog/ “Join the community”. We send out a weekly post on topics ranging from etiquette questions to business communication, and perspectives on reinforcing modern etiquette and communication in the home. If you have a suggestion for an article or a question you would like answered, please contact Mona, The Hopeful Hostess here: https://thehopefulhostess.com/contact/ . Until next time, have a wonderful week and stay Hopeful for the future!
The Hopeful Hostess 