I have taken note as of late, that I am often asked for payment, but not shown an itemized bill. I might be the only one who is troubled by this trend. I know there are several financial gurus with advice on how to manage money. You can find their devotees via envelopes of cash, tracking apps, and even a devotion to a mileage credit card. This will not be the focus of this article. Please contact your personal financial resource should you have any questions for budgeting or financial speculation. Instead, I would like to look at the etiquette of being asked to pay a bill.
I have a favorite place in the city of Houston, The Houstonian Hotel and Trellis Spa. (https://www.houstonian.com). It has always been perfection in regard to how they have handled my visits there. It is from this, that I have developed the expectation of always receiving a completed bill before being asked to pay. And it is not just presented as a simple piece of paper. It is a step beyond. When leaving the Trellis spa after a magical few hours, the spell is not broken in the exit. On the contrary. As I stand at the counter, I am surrounded by beautiful fragrance, tranquil music, a kind spa concierge. When presented with an itemized bill it is in a proper, sturdy folder. It is a full sheet size, not just a thin register reciept. The guest services person waits for me to review the statement, asks if I have any questions, and then proceeds to process payment. All that is left is to seamlessly float out the doors of Trellis spa, down the winding stone path, under the majestic oak tree into the quintessential Texas Lobby of the Houstonian Hotel. Seriously you should visit. But I digress.
In stark contrast to this seems to be the new trend which is to just be told a total without explanation and asked to “swipe” a credit card and leave gratuity. More restaurants now have a payment kiosk on the table, at least the level of restaurants my teenagers ask to dine. I wonder how this trend started.
I have looked back in reference books and cannot find a notation that stated that one should not ask to see a statement before paying a bill. Upon asking my friends, it was shared with me that they were taught, “…if you have to ask how much a thing is, then you cannot afford it..”. But is that not the point?
It is the responsibility of the customer to look online and research before heading into a new experience. It can also be a good idea to confirm the cost of a service when you arrive. I have a few friends who like to pay for their treatments when they arrive, so that they do not add anything extra to their bill. In terms of percentages there is a lot of advice out there, you must decide what makes sense for you.
- 20% tip:
- Standard for restaurants, but here is something to consider.
- Colin Cowie wrote in his book, “Chic, A guide to life as it should be”, “…By no means should a diner be expected to honor the same percentages (of tipping) when it comes to very expensive bottles of wine or liquor.” He goes on to share, “…tend to tip 20% of the food, then I add on at least 10 percent of the wine”.
- Counter service:
- $1 per item or 10% of the total cost
- Some places do not allow counter service tips.
Restaurant gratuity is dependent on the level of service and you experience while dinning. More casual places will have a kiosk on the table, so the server does not take part in your payment of the check. Fine dining, you will receive the check in a “check presenter” folder. Please review the bill. If it is dim, then you can use your phone to illuminate the receipt. Mistakes happen, they are not personal. Take the time to respect yourself and your budget and review the bill. If you have a question, and you are not comfortable asking in front of the table, you could try:
- Excuse yourself from the table. Say “Excuse me for a moment”, then pick up the bill, place your napkin in your chair and walk to the hostess desk or if you see a service station with your server or a manager, head there.
- Say to the hostess/server/manager, “I had a question about my bill. Could you look at it with me?” Or “I noticed there are two charges for (whatever the item is) could you remove one of them?” It could also happen that, “When we ordered the wine, we asked for (insert here what you ordered), I am reading that we were charged for (insert what the bill states), could you correct this for me?”
- If your guests or the people you are dining with resist or want to accompany you, a statement such as, “I just have a quick question, please stay here and keep visiting, I will be right back.” Then walk away, you cannot control their actions, but most times the other guests will not intervene.
- Once the manager and you reach an agreement for the charges, thank them, return to your table, and wait for the proper bill to be presented.
- Look at the new bill to confirm it is as you requested. Pay the bill. (If it is not correct, this time stay seated and ask the server, “Could you ask the manager to stop by the table?”
- When the manager arrives, give a kind smile, and say, “It appears there is still an error on the bill, would you mind adjusting it for me?” After it is fixed, pay the bill, thank the server and the manager as you leave the establishment.
When you handle matters simply and with kindness, you do not need to discuss them with anyone else. Except your spouse or partner, who also have an interest on how money is being spent. There should be no drama or discussion that would take away from the lovely experience you just shared.
- Salons and Spa:
- In general, you will read that a 20% gratuity is standard.
- You will also read that you do not tip an independent salon owner as they have set the price to insure their profit.
- In this case, a gratuity becomes a gratuity, and you can give them a monetary amount you are comfortable with
- Some people find it helpful to set a personal boundary:
- They choose to only tip $20 for a hair service.
- They choose to only tip $5 for a manicure.
- It is imperative that you know the cost before you arrive and consider only using cash to tip verses the machine telling you at check out the percentage amount.
A few thoughts on staying on a budget and tipping, (not in restaurants):
If you are on a budget, and you know what you can afford, consider taking the amount that you would like to leave in cash. It could look like this:
- Decide the amount you would be comfortable as a tip.
- Take that amount in cash.
- Find a small note card, thank you or plain stationary, with an envelope.
- Write “Thank you for a wonderful (service/massage/facial/ style)” Sincerely, (sign your name)
- Put cash inside note, put note inside envelope.
- Do not seal envelope (disasters happen, and you can always take money away or decide not to leave the note)
- At the end of the service as you gather your belongings, thank the provider for the service and either hand them the envelope, or set it on the counter.
- You must let them see you leave it and acknowledge that you left it there. You can say, “I left your tip for in the envelope.”
- Walk out, do not make excuses, or talk about why you chose to tip in cash. That would be awkward for you and the provider.
- At the desk:
- When asked how your services was, you can say, “wonderful”, “very nice” or “not what I was expecting”.
- Ask, “Could I see an itemized bill?” Or “Can I take a look at the receipt?”
- Read the receipt:
- Look for automatic gratuities.
- Look for what services are there, are they what you expected?
- If not, ask the question, “I am not sure what the extra (conditioner, boost, etc) was, could you clarify that for me?”
- Take a deep breath, you are simply being a responsible adult. You are in no way being any of the following, “Difficult”, “Cheep”, “Annoying”, a “Pain”. Please do not preface what you are asking with any of the above adjectives. You are just asking a question. And they will have an answer.
- Once you are comfortable, pay the bill. On the gratuities portion you put “none” or “0” because you left the tip in cash. You may tell the front desk person you left a cash tip if you would like, but you honestly to do need to explain your actions.
- Leave the place and enjoy your day.
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