Time

To Manage it or Budget it? Everyone has the same amount, it all comes down to choice.

What is there new to say about time?  For me, time has been a bit like a bad boss.  It is always there, but just keeps changing its mind about what I should be doing.  For the sake of discussion, I am a calendar person.  I also relish in a good To-do list.  There is a sense of accomplishment as I mark items as completed off the list!

In general, I see time in blocks, and I am a believer in looking at how I felt before during and after any activity.  I am also a fan of, “Return on Investment”.  Is the way I am spending my time moving me forward to the life I am building?  David Allen writes in, “Getting Things Done” (Penguin Books, 2015, p 13), “…most stress people experience comes from inappropriately managed commitments they make or accept.”  I agree with Mr. Allen.  But what do you do when your entire day is filled with inappropriately managed commitments?  I know the answer lies in defining goals and outcomes, but when can I find the time for that?  It appears that meetings and activities pop into my calendar like weeds in the garden.  They were not there a minute ago, but here they are now…

I offer a yearly workshop to help clients identify how they are spending their time and to consider if what they are doing daily is returning the life they want.  I have learned from my own experience there is a great question for most people in terms of time budgeting.  Paper calendar, Electric Calendar, or both?  And if electric, is it Google, Outlook, or iCal?  Truth, you most likely must have an online calendar.  Also true, you can keep a paper calendar daily in addition to the electric version.  I hear a few of you out there muttering that it would be a duplication of efforts and a waste of time to have both.  To you I say, I believe you.  And please enjoy your electric calendar.  But there are those of us, who feel much more in control of their life to take a moment and look at a handwritten agenda for the day, or week or month.  Both can be true.  If you are felling out of control, consider writing out your next day’s appointments and activities at the end of the day before.  Most appointments now can be “auto plugged” into your online calendar.  This at least puts a place holder in your time.  

Most companies have access to your calendar where they can populate a meeting at their whim.  There is a question, how to merge your personal calendar into the work calendar, while not violating any company policies or divulging too much about your life outside the office.  My recommendation, is to follow company policy and add your work to your personal, not your personal to the office calendar.

I find more and more that offices are operating with a very lean administrative staff.  Everyone oversees all their own meetings and workflow.  I miss the days of a front desk person or an administrative assistant.  They could always provide clarity to the schedule and a sense of humanity if you needed to get in touch with another person.  When I worked in an office setting, I felt constant pressure to check my calendar throughout the day for any last-minute meetings.  I perceived it as pressure, even a fancy form of professional FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) if a co-worker received a last-minute meeting invite and I was excluded.  I would think, “What is going on?”  “Why don’t they need my help?” “What if there is something I did wrong?”  “How do I find out what they are doing?”  This was a huge mental time drain.  I know the concepts to stay in the moment, only focus on what you can control, don’t assume anything.  But still, it would be there, like a little pebble in my shoe.

But then the opposite was also true, a meeting would jump on my calendar, and I would think, “Oh no, what is this for?”  “Did I forget something?” “How can I get ready for this and do what I thought I was doing today?”  All of it was not helping me move about the world.  It is a personality thing. There are some of you out there, where all of it sounds like fun, and meeting spontaneity is the best part of working.  You people are amazing, but I am not part of your tribe.  I am the one in the background, with a clip board, making the agenda and objectives to be sure we are having a meaningful interaction.

What is important?  You get to decide.  Yes, your company has objectives and goals, but ultimately, you get to decide how you move about the world.  Lately I have felt like a magnet and everyone around me have the opposite pole and keep trying to pull me over to their task.  I am working for myself and that requires a lot of boundaries.  And people like to push past those boundary fences without any regard for the independent entrepreneur that set them.  I enjoy the phrase “Activity Clutter” to describe a lot of these time demands.  Marie Kondo writes, “Activity clutter comes from the things we do that take up precious time and sap our energy but don’t make a meaningful difference to our personal, professional, or even company’s mission.” (Joy at Work, Little, Brown Spark, 2020).  I agree, but how can you filter these things out to help create a life filled with ease?

I have decided that I am taking a retreat day this month, and every month for the rest of the year.  This is a technique suggested by David Allen, and the times in my life I have implemented these monthly reflections, I have felt more in control and at ease on a daily basis.  This is a day I will put everything on do not disturb and look at what I had wanted to accomplish in 2023.  I ask myself, “Am I anywhere close to (insert goal/objective)?  What do I have on my calendar for the remainder of the year?  Does it align with my goals?  I color code each goal and then use that on every calendar time block or appointment.  This is like assigning billing to a client number.  I am the client, and I am certainly paying for the time I spend on every task.  Therefore, this little step helps to keep me focused on a few specific goals and to have a visual reminder if my calendar is balanced and focused and what is important to me.

My mind is very active.  I have learned to keep a small notebook with me that I can write things down in one place.  For some, this would be using the notes app on your phone or a voice recording.  When a “ToDo” or task jumps into my mind, I write it down on the list.  The “Parking Lot” technique works well for me.  I take the last few minutes of my day to review the list.  I ask myself, “Have I natural resolved any of these in the course of the day?”  (Very often I have). I look at the schedule for the next day and I look at the parking lot list, are there any places tomorrow that I can plug these items into my schedule?  Then, from what is left, I look for quick wins.  Is there something that will take me 15 minutes or less that I can just do right now?  And then I do what I can do.  I clear my desk, I shut down my computer, and set my things up to begin the next day.

Keeping work-life and life-life in flow is a lot like being the rope in the tug of war.  To quote Kenny Rodgers, The Gambler, “You got to know when to walk away”.  For me, having clarity behind why I am doing things and how I am doing them makes life a more peaceful.  I am human and I do get away from my personal best practices.  When life starts to feel out of control and I find myself not being able to just think, I will stop, take a day or even a few moments to reflect on what is important in the long run.  Is what I am worried about going to have any real impact on how I would like to live my life?  The answer to this determines my next move.

Thank you for taking time to read these words.  If you would like information on the next “2024 finding your Etiquette of Time and Goals”, please join the email list at https://wordpress.com/page/thehopefulhostess.com/522.  Please continue to send your etiquette and communication skills questions, a new post will be coming out focused on the questions I receive, keep an eye out for the next round of answers.  Have a wonderful week and stay Hopeful!  Sincerely, Mona