On the topic of friends…

This past month has taught me a lot about friendship.  As some of you know, my son broke his tibia and fibula while playing in his high school football game.  I was in Stillwater, Oklahoma with my daughter as she was planning her college future.  My husband was at the game.  We have a parenting policy in our family that unless it is life threatening, we do not reach out to the other parent until the situation has found a resolution or decision point.  When my text alerts started that Thursday night with questions on how my son was doing in the ambulance, and beautiful prayers for his healing, I was shocked.

My son is on the mend now and should make a full recovery.  His friends and their parents are what is keeping him moving forward at this point.  From the moment the accident happened on the field, a wonderful mom stepped up and reached out with a detailed message of what was going on.  Another incredible family friend who was part of the group chats chimed in and asked for everyone to allow our family a little time to sort things out and that she would be the one to send the updates.  I owe both these wonderful women my sanity for those first few days.

Interestingly, my daughter had a different reaction.  She was protective of me and worried about my distraction.  She knew her brother was safe and stable, so there was nothing we could do to help the situation.  We were there for a celebration visit, it was an incredible few days of tours, academic appointments, and football festivities  But my daughter did not want me on my phone checking things.  So, I gave her my phone to hold as a way to let her know I was present and excited for her future.  We ended up calling my son from one of the campus stores and she walked around with him on face time to be sure to bring back something he would enjoy from our trip.  She sheltered him as well, trying to bring some normalcy and to give him a fun place to look forward to visiting and dropping her off at her dorm next fall.

The young men in my son’s world have been just that, men.  Daily, he has received a basket, or blanket or just a quick visit from one of his people.  They reached out to learn his favorite treats, colors, and things that bring him joy in general.  One of his friends has gone out of his way to be sure my son is still involved in every part of his sports teams.  He is constantly encouraging him and sharing his believe that my son will make a full recovery and be back on the field with him soon.  These are 15-year-old young gentleman.  Young gentleman who took a Friday night, the one before Halloween, to come to our house and celebrate his birthday with him.  They laughed and ate and enjoyed a casino night in his honor.   In school, I know there is always one of these men at his side as he is using his knee-scooter in the hall.  They make sure he is seen and safe.

What I know about friendships is that you never know when you will need your friends.  And that is when they show up.  I have seen my friends like angels that are just around me these past weeks.  We text and share our frustrations.  They let me vent about the joy of getting a high school freshman who missed about two weeks of school to take initiative and get his assignments turned back in.  My friends have been honest that this will most likely not be the best report card ever, but it will all be okay.  I value their honestly and their presence in my life.  I hope I am a friend like that.  

We hear the term, “pay it forward”, but I do not see it as an obligation to do good.  I view this as a time to live life a little more gracefully.  I have shifted my perspective and softened a little.  I do not see myself asking, “what can I do for you?” when I have a friend in crisis.  Now I would just show up.  And if I cannot be there in person, I will be there in text or whatever.  I will just be present with them.  From my side, there is no inspirational quote or even encouraging, “it is going to be alright” that helps.  I cannot say more than, I am grateful to my friends who give me a safe place to land.  A safe space to laugh.  And a safe space to cry. And a safe space to move forward.  For this, I am grateful, and I hope to do the same,

Thank you for taking the time to read these words.  Please share on your socials, and like The Hopeful Hostess on Facebook.  To subscribe so you can receive weekly Thursday emails, please click here:  https://thehopefulhostess.com/blog/.  Have a wonderful week, and until next time, stay Hopeful!