Thanksgiving, here we go!

Dear friends.  Welcome to the week before Thanksgiving.  It is officially the start of the month of family gatherings and friendly get togethers.  There are many places to look for “Favorite Things” or “Gift Guides” or even “Holiday Dos and Don’ts”.   I wondered what I have to contribute to the conversation.  In the end I thought I would share a few lessons I have learned from childhood to adulthood from the week that is Thanksgiving.

1. Sometimes, the best time to fly is the morning of Thanksgiving.  My husband taught me this lesson.  My family tradition was to get up Thanksgiving morning and eat cinnamon rolls, watch the parade on TV, and then have a late afternoon family gathering.  My husband is from New York, we live in Texas.  He always woke up early on Thanksgiving and took the first flight back home.  Airport is easy at that time.  And you arrive at the gathering right at the perfect time.  Not too early, not too late.  It also tends to be a little more affordable.  Game changer
2. Not everyone thinks Cinnamon Rolls are a full breakfast.  Apparently, some people want a protein with that.  So now with the homemade cinnamon rolls, I make scrambled eggs and bacon.  People seem happier.
   1. Side note:  If you are going to make homemade rolls, start them the day before, do the first rise on the counter, punch down and then let the dough rise in the fridge.  Then just pull-out dough in the morning, shape it how you would like.  Let rise on counter, then bake while you make other stuff.  And Cream Cheese Icing really makes them better.  And double whatever your recipe calls for with the cinnamon and sugar for the filling.  Just trust me.
   2. Personal note:  Some of us prefer tea to coffee.  That is just a note for any of my people reading.  Tea, simple breakfast tea.  Hot water.  Time.  That is one of my love languages.
3. Write it out before you shop or buy anything.
   1. List the people.
   2. List the things you would like to eat, and what others enjoy.
   3. Write out the timeline from waking up to people eating desert, 15 minute sections
   4. Appetizer rule:  3 bites per person.   What I mean is that if you are serving pigs in a blanket, then estimate that each person will eat three of them.  Some will eat more, and some will eat less.  This is the best estimation tool I know of.
   5. Break it down:
      1. Protein
      2. Side
      3. Side
      4. Side
      5. Carbohydrate/Bread
      6. Vegetable/Salad
      7. Cranberry Situation (You choose in a can/fresh/none)
      8. Pie
      9. Pie/Gingerbread/Ice Cream
      10. Whipped Cream
      11. Drink
      12. Drink/alcohol
      13. Hot Drink
      14. Bowl of Chocolate/Caramels/candy
   6. Food rule:  ½ pound of meat per gentleman, ¼ pound of meat per lady.  Some will eat more, some will eat less.  It should balance out.
   7. Vegetarians like to eat more than salad.  Ask them what they would like and they most likely will bring something if asked.
   8. Cheese is not universal; some people truly do not enjoy cheese or cream sauces.
   9. Salad:  Some people want a little bowl and do not want it on their plate.  Some would like it at the end of their meal.  Just put the salad in a big bowl on the table and set a few small bowls next to it.  People will figure out what they prefer.
4. Setting the table; First how many people are joining you?  This determines the place in your home you will eat.  Basic is best:
   1. Napkin on the left, then fork (salad then regular if serving salad) plate, knife with blade facing the plate, spoon ( yes spoon even if you are not having soup)
   2. Water glass over tip of knife, the knife points to the drink.  If you choose to have a bread plate it is above the napkin.
   3. Set your serving dishes on the table to be sure it all will fit a few days before.
   4. If serving wine, the wine glass goes to the right of the water glass.
5. Do you want a buffet, or do you want to pass platters?
   1. I like to have everyone at the table and to pass the food.  I believe it starts conversation.  People also tend to try all the dishes when they are handed to them.  It is one of the best “ice breakers” to watch everyone around the table pass and have side conversations about the dishes.  I like to pass left to right, but this is not a hard and fast rule.
   2. Buffett: you need a large area to set the dishes.  It will be difficult to have everyone start eating at the same time.  You can consider once people are seated to move the serving bowls of popular foods to the table so people will enjoy.  It is less likely that guests will leave the table for seconds in a buffet situation.
6. Starting the meal:
   1. Wait for the host/person who cooked/person of honor to be seated.
   2. It is customary for this person to welcome everyone.  A glass can be raised thanking for the meal.
   3. Start eating before it gets cold.
   4. About 15 minutes into eating, once people have a little food but before the younger guests are wanting to leave the table, you can have the discussion of “what are we grateful for” or any other traditional Thanksgiving group conversation.
7. Active Meal:
   1. 45 minutes is about the maximum for the meal in terms of an active conversation at the table.
   2. Music is good.  Keep conversation light.  Have a movie or something on TV for those that leave the table.
   3. Consider a break where everyone gets up and helps clear the main meal.  People can walk outside, kids fidget.  My husband’s family calls this taking breaks.
8. Desert:
   1. Get your hot water, coffer and other adult libations set out with your deserts and after dinner treats.  Set the small plates in front of each person.
   2. Clean/a new fork is a nice idea.
   3. Napkins might still be there from earlier, but only if everyone returns to their same seat.  You can have a stack of clean napkins as well.  Guests appreciate that.
   4. Keep it light and easy.  Have a little fruit set out or a bowl of nuts.  You can consider a little bit of cheese as well.  Or just traditional pie.  Whatever is easy.
9. Clearing:
   1. Have an idea of how you would like the guests to help, if at all.
   2. I try to have an empty dishwasher when guests arrive. Then if someone wants to help, they just load the dishwasher.
   3. Let the big clean up wait.
   4. Have a clean laundry basket at the ready as people want to help and pull all the dirty linens for you.  That way there is a place for them.
10. Laugh.  Laugh a lot.  Enjoy.  It is just a meal.  Stop and look around and remember.  Every year will be different.  In the end, people just remember how they felt.  Make sure you feel happy and peaceful.

Pro-tips:

• Shoes are everything, wear comfortable ones.
• YOU DO NOT HAVE TO COOK, order in that meal!
• Only wear necessary rings, watches, bracelets, they get messy when you cook.
• Aprons truly have a purpose, get a cute one so you do not ruin your cute outfit.
• No one is perfect at cutting up a turkey or any other large meat.  Cut it up in the kitchen with minimal people around.  
• Sit down and be a part of the gathering.  
• Set an end time when you invite people.  1:00 – 4:00 or something like that.  Set the expectation of your day.
• Less is more.  In words, In Food, In Drink, In Perfection.  Less is more, trust me.

Thank you for reading my thoughts and musings.  Please continue to send your questions to mona@thehopefulhostess.com.  If you could subscribe to the blog https://thehopefulhostess.com/blog/.  Please share with your friends and colleges and until next week, stay hopeful!